Quirky Menu Explorer Gifts

"I'll have the creamed corn, hold the corn."

Today's special - Ox tail soup.

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee

Coffee Menu

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

'Whatever he's eating.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

Heart Disease Menu

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"