Music Menu Explorer T-Shirts

'While on hold, press #1 for classical music. Press #2 for rock music. Press #3 for country music. Press #4 for...'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

No Elgar!

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Theorbo

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"... And his piano teacher says that he definitely has Van Gough's ear for music."

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

Coffee Menu

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Musical genres

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Whatever he's eating.'

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.