Quirky Menu Explorers T-Shirts

Window sign: Tastes just like chicken cafe...open

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'How is the water prepared?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee Menu

Coffee

'Whatever he's eating.'

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

Cheese Secret

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

Heart Disease Menu

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'