Quirky Measurement Lover Gifts

"Got him bang to rights. Trying to sell cocaine in pounds and ounces."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

Air Footer

'No, actually THIS invented me!'

'I was trying to create an anti-aging formula using stem cells.'

Making isobar map with elastic bands.

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Letter from Camp* (*with Footnotes)

Man patents device, combination of beer automat and urinal

"Don't complain. Remember, last week they had us on martinis."

For the War Inventions Board: The Shell-diverter for returning the enemy's fire.

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

Absurd flying machine

Testing the speed of light in a hand-held vacuum.

'Right, I'll see the chap who thinks he's a fly next.'

Portable Pedestrian Crossings

Absurd multi-propulsion vehicle

Absurd snow clearing machine

'I regret to report that there's no global warming threat after all -- we just got Fahrenheit and Celsius mixed up.'

Schrodinger's earlier experiment...

"Are you binge watching again?"

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

Joe Bob Edison, standing next to his greatest invention.

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

Product labeling: 'Genetically engineered'.

Delayed Action Bomb Machine

Needle Toilet.

''Tis a poor thing, but mine own.'

"My approach to psychiatry is that all these problems are caused by viruses."