Quirky Fact Lover Gifts

'Apparently, your'e never more than 10ft away from a rat. Although, I think that's only on average.'

This stuff seems perfectly normal

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

Over 2500 left handed people die each year using products designed for right handed people.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You left this on our ship."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Astral Projection

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Imagine

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

He wanted a different one.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

The Family Joules: Part 5

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'Can I have flies with that'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)