Measurement Trickster Gifts

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

High speed cinder block

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Paul was certain he had the largest pumpkin, until he discovered he was the smallest man.

Frog Flycatcher.

"Never mind if you're good with people. Can you hack?"

'Hon, come quick! I think we have a major computer bug.'

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

DIY store.

'I got tattoos of all my passwords.'

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

'Okay, here's how your contributor's brand new machine works! Now give me my money!'

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

Hurdles with Steps

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

Cyber crime.

'This is just a hologram of Wilkins! That's the 12th employee this month who has pulled this stunt!'

"THIS IS A HOLD UP!"

"So you want to sue NASA because the Mars Rover is blocking your driveway while taking soil samples?"

"Do you like my new, squirty flower app?"

'The voice mail system is down right now. Would you like to leave an eye-mail message?'

'I made an illegal entry on my computer. What are you in for?'

Bad accountants

"This is the third cheese delivery this month. Not only do we have mice, they appear to be tech savvy."

'You see Tommy, 1 kg of Iron is not always equal to 1 kg of feathers...'

'Boys the strong arm stuff is over. This is Ronald. Ronald is a hacker.'