Measurement Trickster T-Shirts

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

High speed cinder block

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

Paul was certain he had the largest pumpkin, until he discovered he was the smallest man.

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

'Hon, come quick! I think we have a major computer bug.'

"Never mind if you're good with people. Can you hack?"

Frog Flycatcher.

DIY store.

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

'I got tattoos of all my passwords.'

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

'Okay, here's how your contributor's brand new machine works! Now give me my money!'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

Hurdles with Steps

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

Cyber crime.

"So you want to sue NASA because the Mars Rover is blocking your driveway while taking soil samples?"

"Do you like my new, squirty flower app?"

"THIS IS A HOLD UP!"

'The voice mail system is down right now. Would you like to leave an eye-mail message?'

'I made an illegal entry on my computer. What are you in for?'

Bad accountants

"This is the third cheese delivery this month. Not only do we have mice, they appear to be tech savvy."

'You see Tommy, 1 kg of Iron is not always equal to 1 kg of feathers...'

'Boys the strong arm stuff is over. This is Ronald. Ronald is a hacker.'

BUS, 'I never have to take Muriel out to dinner any more -- I got a remote tuner for the bathroom scales.'