Quirky Love Story Collector Pillows

"I'm sorry, but I made a big mistake by running off with you. I'm really in love with the fork."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Ghost puddle

The Family Joules: Part 5

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

It's great for pulling the birds!