Love Story Collector Pillows

"We met through a contact tracing app."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

'It was a maneuver he put on me alright but I now think, it wasn't the Heimlich...'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"Define fair."

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

7 More Dwarfs

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"Oh I remember, it was a particularly cold day and your daddy whispered sweet nothings in my ear. It gave me such a warm feeling inside that I knew he was the one!"

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"Figure it out, Sherlock! I'm a lovebird. You're a lovebird. We're cooped-up together in this cage 24 hours a day! Sooner or later it was bound to happen."

"I hate to spoil your porridge, but your son has a blonde in his room."

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

Who's Dead

Newborn making the V-sign

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

"When my Tia Maggie got married, she wanted 8 kids...and her husband wanted 2 kids."

'Love changes everything.'

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

They were made for each other. She was easy to look at; he had a lazy eye.

A woman reads a romance novel.

"Same story - boy becomes girl."

"I met my husband in this bar... well, ex-husband...well, my ex-husband who's my current boyfriend. It's complicated."

"We've been dating for five years. Can I have Thursdays off please?"

"I wanted to give her my heart and my whole life, but I forgot my credit card at home."

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

A frog catches an insect truck.

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

Joe and Sally started an on-screen romance.

"Will you be keeping your own name or rebranding?"

"Forty years ago on this very seat I proposed to you. Made up your mind yet?"