Family Story Collector Pillows

I hear you're taking reproductive health. Don't be jealous, Nana. It's boring. Too bad! We had memorable sex ed! Way back then? Yep. Way back

Newborn making the V-sign

"When my Tia Maggie got married, she wanted 8 kids...and her husband wanted 2 kids."

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Mythical Family of Four.

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

Who's Dead

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

Aladdin's Cave of Wonder

'I've been knocking for ages!'

Catherine the Great with her daughter Nora Soso

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

"We met through a contact tracing app."

'Oh my, it's my sister's address! I'm delivering my own nephew!'

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

'My teacher has a good memory. She remembers what a rotten kid you were.'

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

A frog catches an insect truck.

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

"As I call each of your names, please answer by saying 'Present'"

I've heard that you've beaten the Hare, so I've come to challenge you...

"She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture..."

'Hey mom, look! One of Dad's old report cards! Boy, has he got a lot of explaining to do!'

"That's your uncle Colin. He's the black sheep of the family."