Quirky Living Situations Gifts

"It's the people downstairs complaining about the noise again."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

"Are you aware of how many times you say 'oink' when you talk?"

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

'You're not what we hand in mind when we advertised for a new organist.'

Junk Mail Shredder.

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

"....And when we retire at night, she suddenly develops a critical head dysfunction!"

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

"Ninety percent of household dust is dried flaky skin."

"Don't exhale while you're in there - he has a thing about germs."

For several minutes, Norma's body is possessed by the spirit of her dead washing machine,

Bikini Between Buildings

A goldfish in the water cooler

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

A huge, mind-boggling number.

"I thought it might make your writing more profound."

Mrs. Prissypaws thought her new neighbor was too free with his body.

The little old lady who lived in a vacuum.

'We don't have a dog but we felt a need to offer a warning anyway.'

I think I just figured out why this place was available.

"Look, it's not ideal but we both have to live with it."

The Denouement is Nigh!