Quirky Job Recruit Pillows

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

Urine Catcher

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"Any other skills?"

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

"Naps. Do you have anything in naps?"

'I love your 'never-say-never' attitude, but we never hired you.'

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

"I called you back for a second interview to show you the origami I make with your résumé."