Quirky Job Applicants Pillows

'Yes, I wear a dress and hack people to death, but I'm still right for this job.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

Urine Catcher

"Any other skills?"

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'

Kid sells Acai Berry Juice at stand free trial.

Lateral Recruits

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"I called you back for a second interview to show you the origami I make with your résumé."

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

"Any other strengths?"

'Special skills? Well, I've been told I make a mean martini!'