Quirky Job Recruit Prints

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

Urine Catcher

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"Any other skills?"

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

True, I've seen plenty of padded resumes, but very few bejeweled resumes.

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'I think I've finally found my own niche.'

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

"Naps. Do you have anything in naps?"

'I love your 'never-say-never' attitude, but we never hired you.'

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"