Quirky Job Admirer Pillows

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

The world's most unemployable family

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

Urine Catcher

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

That's a great suggestion, Harris, unfortunately I'm not open to suggestions right now.

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

'What training do I get?'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'You'll find, Smith, that there's a very relaxed atmosphere in this office.'

"Phelps, I hope I'm not insulting you when I say you're an incompetent nincompoop."

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

PERSONNEL, 'This is terribly embarrassing -- I've been married so many times, I've forgotten my maiden name.'

"I've decided to let you work from home, as long as you move in here and pay me rent."

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Latrinologist

"Any other strengths?"

'I'd prefer to work from home. I'm under house arrest.'