Quirky Career Admirer Pillows

'It has put a bit of strain on the marriage, to be honest, his career as 'the human fly'.'

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

The world's most unemployable family

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

Giant Sale!

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Snow cones being sold in a snow globe.

Bovine Proctology Graduation

A mad scientist.

Dog With Extravagant Face Mask

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

The Neighbours from Hell....

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

'You'll find, Smith, that there's a very relaxed atmosphere in this office.'

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

Man with big furry mustache drives car with grill that looks like same.

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

London Fly-Paper Vendor

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

Hadleyville Has-Beens

"Sorry, but your good references don't match the passion of your bad ones."

"…and don't let your cash buyout, stock options and lifetime medical benefits hit you in the button the way out."

"Any other skills?"

"I used to be a GP, but I wanted a job with a bit more status...'

Concert pianist.

Sorry, Mr Arbutnot, I'm not interested

I make the aquaintance of Miss Mowcher

"What other qualifications do you have besides mastering the art of playing 'We Have No Bananas' with your armpit?"