Quirky Holiday Humor Pillows

US Post Office: 'Can you get this to Walla Walla by Whitsuntide?'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Piranhaclaus

Elfie Stick

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Stonehenge Sandcastle

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Santa's Helpers

"Gesundheit!"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"I noticed a few browns."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'