Quirky Holiday Humor Gifts

US Post Office: 'Can you get this to Walla Walla by Whitsuntide?'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Piranhaclaus

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

Stonehenge Sandcastle

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"I noticed a few browns."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

Santa's Helpers

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

Christmas on Other Planets.

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"Gesundheit!"