Quirky Holiday Humorist Gifts

Man glueing individual needles to Christmas tree.

'That's about as Christmasy as we can get it.'

On the third day of Christmas...

'I want to report a gruesome scene on Main Street... There's socks nailed to a fireplace and stuffed with eyeballs, lips and buttons!!!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Claus 2.0

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

High security Santa's grotto

Night of the Latkes

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Ninja bread men"

That one has all the batteries!

Hiding the electronics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Fish snorkling above water.

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"I don't believe in you!"