Quirky History Fans Gifts

Lunch money? What's lunch money?

Archimedes statue with a lever

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'It's an extinction notice.'

"Darn autocorrect!"

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

"Bonk!"

Hey, dad, do you think we could play something besides "catch"?

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

Oedipus

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Maypole

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

Saint Patrick

'Et tu Yakamoto?'

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

William Shakespeare

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

A caveman attempting to make a cart

The Race to Ukraine

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'