Quirky Historians Gifts

Useless-memory lane

Inventor of the First Ceiling Fan: 'Almost There.'

'Okay, but do I still come from Poland or what?'

Archimedes statue with a lever

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"Let's have some fun kids, he says, let's play Easter Island."

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

A caveman attempting to make a cart

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

"You just made medical history Mr Burnside. Your're the first one ever struck by lightning while on a bed pan."

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

Hieroglyphic disco dancer

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

Mummy has set up a pulley system in his sarcophagus.

"You look good for your age."

"I don't know about you, but ever since we invented language, I've been getting a lot less sex."

The Spoonish Inquisition

Cat scratch fever

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

A man searching an Egyptian tomb finds a Shriner hat and car.

"Hydro density apparatus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

"What's come over Heisenberg? He seems to be certain about everything these days."

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

Ancient man