Quirky Healer Gifts

Fakir on bed of nails reads an 'Acupuncture' book.

Man taking cuckoo clock to the vet.

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

A Wally Yomp Psychologist...Practice limited to people who are really miffed!

A Mom and Pop Operation

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

Dancing Doctor

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

"It's cooties."

"Race you to the spleen!"

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

"I'm going to prescribe you four metres of bubble-wrap three times a day."

'He's pre-med.'

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

'Everyone accuses me of being a 'control freak'.'

Sewing for Dummies.

'He tries to stay happy in his work.'

Dr. Potato Head