Quirky Excuses Fan Gifts

"My feet aren't gross. They simply show 'honest wear'".

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

Sorry

Footballer and Bacteria.

The Unsportables: Relay

Monster Baseball

The emerging and exhilarating sport of Ice Golf.

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Deregulated Baseball

You are the 1 I settled 3

She was always an introvert.

'Let go of the pole!'

"Never seen a cow before?"

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

The McKinsey conjoined quintuplets find their niche."

"I was born an urban bird and I'll die an urban bird."

Olympic Bubble

A bowls player bowling a bomb

The 'twice twirl surprise' seamer

Mayhem, Inc. Part 3

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'

A Good Bet.

Goal!

A Flag in One

Dirty filthy sweat socks, personally autographed by the Hall of Famer who wore them.

'His right-hand has the champ puzzled.'

Corona: Take Precautions!

"Can we cut across the park and avoid Colony Lane? There are three squirrels in an oak tree I’d like to avoid."

'My client requests a postponement, Your Honor -- he's having a bad hair day.'

Pianist winds key to his piano before concert.

Conducting Cats

"I hate playing with pros!"