Quirky Diagnosticians Gifts

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

A Mom and Pop Operation

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'I'm worried, Master has suddenly developed a morbid obsession: He asks me to play dead all the time now...'

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Preserved head and mobile phone.

'I think I've found what's causing your funny buzzing sound.'

Plastic Surgery

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'You're not my usual doctor.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

Doctors' Tour

Saturday was fantasy dysfunctional relationship day.

Sewing for Dummies.

"Give it to me nuanced, Doc."

"With symptoms like yours, you could be the next Batman!"

Quasimodo visits his doctor - "I'm afraid you have Tinnitus!"

"His baldness was way out ofcontrol, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

"I'll swop you my liver for one of your kidneys."