Quirky Deli Diner Gifts

'Order somethin' else, Mae, today's prospector ain't quite dead yet.'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Sushi Train Spotters

"Give him his food."

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

Sorry, that's probably one of mine.

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

Road Kill Cafe.