Quirky Dating Dynamics Observer T-Shirts

"Have you got the time?", "No I've got the money."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

'You were right. We should have gotten a lap dog.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

Pyramid Garden

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.

'I have a feeling, gentlemen, that you don't take having a female boss that seriously.'

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

'I got in touch with my feminine side and totally grossed it out.'

You're wearing your lab coat. What's up? Something big. Amending my unified theory of picking up chicks. Check it out. Explain, doctor. To start, you'll need a notepad and a gym membership.

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

Nerd night out.

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

'Yes, I need to move: I'm starting to have a reputation on the bachelor scene here...'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

Traumatized by the event, Goldilocks was never able to have a relationship with a hairy man: 'EEK!': 'This is my last blind date!'

I like the cut of your jib. Okay, full disclosure time: I have a pretty sick jib fetish. ? ?

'Can you sue someone for being a girl?'

'But I assure you - I'm genuinely interested in your brains!'

A Special Person - man explains to psychiatrist how his special perception leaves him friendless.

'Good news. They're looking at seed catalogues.'

"Hop it! We don't serve your type!"