Quirky Dating Dynamics Observer T-Shirts

"Have you got the time?", "No I've got the money."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

'You were right. We should have gotten a lap dog.'

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

Pyramid Garden

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.

'I have a feeling, gentlemen, that you don't take having a female boss that seriously.'

'I got in touch with my feminine side and totally grossed it out.'

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"I could see my mating dance had caught her eye, so I put more energy into it, but I ended up sweaty and out of breath: she lost interest then. . ."

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

Nerd night out.

'Yes, I need to move: I'm starting to have a reputation on the bachelor scene here...'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

Traumatized by the event, Goldilocks was never able to have a relationship with a hairy man: 'EEK!': 'This is my last blind date!'

'But I assure you - I'm genuinely interested in your brains!'

'Can you sue someone for being a girl?'

A Special Person - man explains to psychiatrist how his special perception leaves him friendless.

'Good news. They're looking at seed catalogues.'

"Hop it! We don't serve your type!"

"Ooh, let's see if I can guess your star sign from your personality traits; Vanity, ignorance, inflated ego, selfishness... Nope. You're going to have to tell me."