Quirky Customer Service Fan Gifts

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

Fly Football

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

Deer Cross Dressing.

Magic mushroom

Mayhem, Inc. Part 3

"Fruit of the Loon"

Need to celebrate? we will pour ice water on you, only $27.50!

At home with the Tangleheads

Waiter on a horse.

OPENING NIGHT OF HARVEY'S CANOE RESTAURANT WAS A HUGE SUCCESS...DESPITE THE CAPSIZE INCIDENT

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

"I loved the part when you said I was a 'valued customer'. Do it again!"

"These humans are WEIRD! - They pick up our poop; carefully tie it up into little bags and then throw it into the nearest bush. . . !"

'He's notorious for pushing the envelope.'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, I have encountered a "close-talker" at work who always stands about five or six inches from my face while talking to me. Unfortunately, this close-talker is my boss. How can I get her to stop doing this without shooting my career in the foot? - Charlotte in Austin. Excellent question. It takes me back. The year was 1938. I spent months tracking down the elusive grizzly bear of the Ozark

'This could be a new record!'

'That's strange, I never forget things.'

'Yo! We need a body. Wanna play?'

Those who want to make complaints are welcomed before breakfast, lunch and supper. Dragon.

"Would you care to try a free sample?"

"A glitch in production - everyone gets a prune omelette with sardines."

Clancy Strip:Bad Service at the Diner

It's the latest thing: a nicotine patch tie.

ACME repairs 'we can fix anything'

Voice Jail

Return on mangled golf clubs.

Butler uses a bike to deliver the food around a long table.

"I'm difficult to shop for. I wear a size extra medium."

"Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia and a cup of coffee."

Sanitary Towels - 'now with wings', are flying out the window

"Our menu options haven't really changed. We just say that so you'll pay attention."

"The crystal ball is to indicate when a waiter will next be in this vicinity."