Quirky Cupid Lover Gifts

Tough Love 2000

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I love you, you big fool."

"You don't whisper anymore."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

Growing Love

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

'I even love the way you snore!'

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

Frankie and Johnny were lovers...

"Your being boring, stuffy and predictable is part of your charm."

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

Romance

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp'."

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

It started as a mutal distate for publicity, but soon blossomed into a cheap physical act...

Tapeworms Need Love Too

Your shoulders are like silk. For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.

"I've always wanted to be in a committed relationship."

Graves: Ernest Moss Ventriloquists. . . 'Georgie'

"I found you running wild. Ungroomed and lacking social skills. Today, you're a trophy partner."

"He has a limited vocabulary - but boy, can he kiss..!"

"Watch this!"

"I want you to have it. It's a lock of my hair replacement."

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

'Ms. Gunderson will see you now, and she apologizes for keeping you wading so long.'

"I don't care if she is a tape dispenser. I love her."