Quirky Cupid Gifts

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

My funny Valentine

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Carbon Dating.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

Best before 65 million BC.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"I have such strong feelers for you."

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

Penguin Remote

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Giraffe Selfie

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

Carbon Dating

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

Niche Extracurriculars

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

Banana Smoothie

'I love your spindly legs, your tiny pinhead and your bulging thorax - marry me!'

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

"Who wants to go to the park and find me a date?"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '