Quirky Counter Gifts

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

'Forty two carry four...' - 'Please get your calculator fixed.'

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

I always feel so short when you wear heels.

Selling salt lick lollipops to reindeers.

True, I've seen plenty of padded resumes, but very few bejeweled resumes.

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"Our turnips look like carrots, our potatoes taste like apples, our green peas are blue...stuff like that."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

In his own way, Todd does his part to save the whales.

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

"Let me help you in your effort ti think INSIDE the box once again."

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

"Any other strengths?"

'In case I forget it, I've had my name tattooed on the inside of my eyelids.'

Will work for a refill.

'We'll have it for you right away - it's buried out in the yard somewhere.'

"Can I call you back? I'm with a piece of string."

'What I particularly like about this baby is this little drawer where I can keep my lunch.'

The Odd Duck

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''