Quirky Helper Gifts

In his own way, Todd does his part to save the whales.

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Pest Control

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

Tortoise polishing his shell

Egg Buggy

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

The Mattress Savings Bank

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

'Group hug anyone?'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"

Love is Love

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"We have raccoons."

Make it look like an accident. Carpet cleaners.

Woman in swimsuit vacuuming the lawn.

"Hola...I was wondering if you need your lawn mowed."

So that's what they mean by the "vacuum of space"! Vvrrrrr. WHOOSH!

"Lots of people have writing partners..."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

Where bee's wax really comes from.

"No-one nit picks like you..."

"What they hell are we looking at."