Quirky Counselors Gifts

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

COVID tips from Wild Animals

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

A Wally Yomp Psychologist...Practice limited to people who are really miffed!

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

'What seems to be the problem?'

"And how long have you had this superiority complex?"

"I regret the day we bought a memory foam mattress."

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'I'm worried, Master has suddenly developed a morbid obsession: He asks me to play dead all the time now...'

Off the wall legal advisor.

"I'm going to prescribe you four metres of bubble-wrap three times a day."

'Try to keep a straight face when you plead 'not guilty'.'

'I'm terribly mixed up.'

Saturday was fantasy dysfunctional relationship day.

'Everyone accuses me of being a 'control freak'.'

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'