Quirky Contact Lens Owner Gifts

'Have you found contact lenses in your soup?'

'Fetch.'

Dog Walking Services

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Cat Show

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'And this is scraps.'

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

'It's the only way I can wash him.'

"Such a cute little thing-what do you call it?"

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'