Quirky Commenter Gifts

"I feel ok until I sober up."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

The Map of the human brain

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, and the Woman who Mistook her Husband for a New Mercedes.

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Dreams I have had...

Large print e-book.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

Football Crazy strip six

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"Am I sensing fear?"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

The lesser of two evils.