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'Yeah yeah... we'll do lunch next week when it's not so hectic around here.'

"Trick or treat, mouse!"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"Is the garbage fresh?"

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

Horse draws a baby carriage.

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

'I've discovered a talking amoeba!' '2+2=4, 5-4=1, 93=3.' SMASH 'I wanted to get it before it multiplied.'

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

"I think he just ashed on me."

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

Top Secret Files

Barber does skinhead's haircut with a lawn mower.

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

'Burf, I think the ants are trying to tell us something.

'Going up?'

'I finally got my pouch pierced.'

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

Jim Jr. never felt like he fit in with the rest of his family.

"So tell me about your last poop."

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

Noah's lesser known brother.