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Mobster R&D

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Cupid Shoots at Open Heart Surgery.

'Biting your nails is no big deal. But down to the first knuckle and we've got ourselves a problem.'

"Most men have a drawer full of odd socks. My husband has a drawer full of odd drawers."

'Going up?'

The Elephant Man sees a specialist

'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

Long Left Arm...Please Help.

'How come I got a baboon liver and pig kidney, and he got a baboon kidney and pig liver?'

Good enough to eat.

'He really wanted to be cremated. . .'

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, bowl to bowl."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'Thanks to an administrative error, Zeke was sentenced to the electric blanket.'

Christmas is right around the corner!

'Has he always been like this?'

'Don't you like to do anything illegal or immoral?'

'What do you mean, you want a divorce?'

Methuselah shoots his age.

'Is my wife in there?'

Mugging.

'Why shouldn't I be obsessive-compulsive? My mother is obsessive, my father is compulsive.'

"While invisibility wasn't anticipated, I did warn you there could be unknown side-effects with experimental drugs!"

"'Shake well. Settling is normal.' I feel better and I haven't even taken it."

'Must be a casual Friday!'

"It's the result of being stubborn and losing a bet!"

"Tina Turner was right. . . what's love got to do with it?!"

"No, really. . . you'd be amazed at the number of my patients with the same hallucination!"

"Para Español, oprima el numero dos. For English, press three. . ."

"Hi! I'm on a hippo."

"Hi, I'm Kevin and I'll be your server tonight...but I guess you already knew that!"

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"His parents never picked him up."