Quirky Comedy Lover Pillows

"Who ordered the Manhattan?"

Confessional under new management.

He never could fit in.

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

'Blood of Christ, make it a double.'

"The good news is he donated his organs to peanut butter."

"You were warned, Albert."

Snake Charmer Cleaning Stairs with Vacuum.

Rorschach Test Pattern.

'...And preferably someone with a blood donor card.'

'On the other hand it does have a certain charm'

"Are you the chap who thinks he's a lightbulb?"

'One scoop of sh*t, please!'

'Good afternoon, Ma'am -- we clean out refrigerators door-to-door....'

Bureau of Missing What Have You.

Person of ambiguious sexuality does not know what towel to use in bathroom,

Woman with large sack at estate agents: 'If it's got a patio, I'll take it.'

Who knew grass migrates?

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

They both have glasses

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

'Declawed, Denutted and Deranged.'

Drop In Centre - "I'm confused about my sexuality"

A Salesperson's Dilemma

Please pardon our appearance during rennovation

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

"I do hope Gerald made it to freedom. . ."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"Doctor, I just can't keep anything to myself..."

"Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant."

"Why are you plowing with a steam roller?"

'How many times have I told you to not drink and drive?'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'Here's the meat pizza you ordered. You don't have to tip me, because I ate the meat.'

Cannibal Eatery