Quirky Coincidence Lover Gifts

'A lot of times I'll look at the clock and it'll be 6:05 . . . that's five minutes past dinnertime.'

"I love you, you big fool."

Tiny Visions

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

"Have you been fiddling with the cuckoo clock again, Tony?"

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

'I even love the way you snore!'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

'Wow! The earache I've had for three weeks is gone!'

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp'."

"Stop arguing - I'll walk myself."

"You must be joking, it’s my ex — what are the odds?"

"What did you expect from a budget airline?"

'You do realize that's just a giant novelty fork, right? They used to have one in the restaurant where I worked.'

Your shoulders are like silk. For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.

'Not that sort of pool party.'

Always looking for ways to increase sales, the creative team at Mayflower Greeting Cards brainstorms new sending occasions.

"Now that I've seen this, I don't think I can ever enjoy popping bubble wrap again."

"He has a limited vocabulary - but boy, can he kiss..!"

Moments later, everyone would think Khrushchev was a kook.

The M.R.I. of Love

Woman gossiping on emergency phone

A Redneck Christmas

'No...no money... but he did leave you his Forever Stamps.'

"Over there is first dollar we ever made; next to that is the second dollar we ever made."

Desert crawler sees 'No Crawling' sign.

Happy Valentine's Day! My friend is looking for a valentine's day date. She asked me to build her ideal man. She wants him to be tall and smart so I made him with long legs and a big brain. He has great ears so he's a good listener, and an extra funny bone so he has a wonderful sense of humor. Most important, I was very careful when working on his chest. Her ideal man must have his heart in the right place. Will you be my valentine?

'Philosophize!'

'Yes, we do deliver to golf courses. What hole are you on?'