Quirky Cohabitant Pillows

'Mr. Knucklepopper, I'm putting Ms. Gumsnapper next door. This way the percussion is all in one section.'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

"That word-puzzle gloat of yours is getting old fast."

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

Trouble Ahead

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

I think my girlfriend is moving in.

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

Love is Love

"Hey! Your ad said 'non-smoker!"

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"Lots of people have writing partners..."

90% of annoying habits are discovered after you start living together.

'I always assumed you were a cat person!'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Oh no, it's that 'come hither and do the dishes' look.'

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

"It's god's little get-back.... She had special haloes made for those who never put down the toilet seat."

"Your hogging the covers again."

"No-one nit picks like you..."

"... Yes, I know there's a hole in your ceiling. Why do you think we're called, the star view motel?"

"Can I move in with you?"

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

"What they hell are we looking at."

'I know you're a deadly sin and everything, but I don't know...I still like hanging around with you anyway.'