Quirky Flatmate Pillows

"Hey! Your ad said 'non-smoker!"

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Giraffe Selfie

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Penguin Remote

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

Love is Love

"My Lord, you said you'd walk with me, but I only see one set of footprints."

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

'Stop worrying, he said he's bring his new friend he's met recently.'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Hi. I'm Don.'

'I always assumed you were a cat person!'

Pavlov's neighbor gets a wind chime.