Quirky Housemate Pillows

"Ooooh, she's tall! Good! Come in! I'll put away the flame thrower."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Penguin Remote

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

Giraffe Selfie

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

Essay Paper.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Love is Love

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"My Lord, you said you'd walk with me, but I only see one set of footprints."

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"Hey! Your ad said 'non-smoker!"

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

'Stop worrying, he said he's bring his new friend he's met recently.'