Quirky Housemate T-Shirts

"Ooooh, she's tall! Good! Come in! I'll put away the flame thrower."

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

Penguin Remote

Giraffe Selfie

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

Essay Paper.

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

Love is Love

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"My Lord, you said you'd walk with me, but I only see one set of footprints."

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"Hey! Your ad said 'non-smoker!"

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."