Quirky Chat Addicts Gifts

"We met through an internet chat group. Now he wants to mail me his digitalised sperm."

Woman on the phone.

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

~ S.O.S.

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

'As a teleworker Colin sometimes struggled against feelings of isolation.'

"It's just a dinner table conversation. Must you refer to it as 'Talking Off-line'."

The social isolation of the entomologist...

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

Pete's trying to groom himself"

'Fill 'er up!'

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

The Man Who Couldn't Say "When."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'What are you doing at the weekend?'

Bob searched far and wide for his soul mate. It looked promising, aside from the language barrier and shipping costs.

"Yes, crazy does sometimes beat sane... but rarely during a job interview."

'I hate to take a problem to bed with me, but my husband refuses to sleep alone.'

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

'I daren't take my hat off - If I do, the voices in my head might escape!'

"I still say it's a napalm tree."

"So, you come here often?"

Francis P. Weston 1935-2001: I'm fine, thanks. How are you?

Lance, I said if it's for me, I'm not here. It's not for you, it's for me. I'm not here, either.

'By the way, I usually sneeze in twos. So that's another interesting thing about me.'

'I don't think there's much more I can help you with, Mr. Krebbs...unless, of course, you want to talk about the bag thing.'