Quirky Cafe Explorer T-Shirts

"Armstrong, I have an idea. We should advertise the cafe on hippo-owners.com."

This is NOT a Coffee Shop.

Countervailing Clichés.

French Early Bird

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

Unnatural History Museum

Bookstore-Cafe: Used Book/Day-Old Croissants

'Do you realise what a find this is?'

Institute of the Paranormal: Research Division and Crackpot Division.

"We have a small menu..."

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

'Freshly ground catnip on your salad?'

"My tech-support is a lot better than my hot dogs."

Distilled Elephant

"I think I see it, guys!" "That's a rock." "Look! A dead snake." "Here's an old balloon... I think!" "World's smallest ball of twine."

Sign Post at the Zoo Reads:'Lions, Tigers, Bears, and Oh-My.'

Maraschino, Inc.

Potato-ade - unleash the awesome power of the potato!

A group of people sit in a coffee shop.

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"

"Have you tried wearing a beret set at a jaunty angle?"

"Sorry for the delay -- your power toast has become all-powerful."