Quirky Bribe Lover Gifts

'Do you really think giving them free stamps will make them go away?'

"I love you, you big fool."

Fishing.

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

Hit a duck, win a prize.

"Prepare yourself for a shock. The birth records reveal you have a twin brother."

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

"Your being boring, stuffy and predictable is part of your charm."

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

Abandoned baby with note is left by mouse hole.

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

Latrinologist

"What did you expect from a budget airline?"

"It's just a loaner while my other horse is in the shop."

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

crime

Graves: Ernest Moss Ventriloquists. . . 'Georgie'

"I found you running wild. Ungroomed and lacking social skills. Today, you're a trophy partner."

"I think mine likes yours, too!"

A Cool Invisible Cow.

'Look, it was fun, but I'd hardly call it scary!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Alien 'Hey, these are my kind of people...'

your money or i'll blow

'Your pistol's useless, Watson - it's the Penguin of the Baskervilles!'

Party with speech bubbles.

Criminal tries to fool the police.

"We're Siamese twins, but you get a choice. he's a jock, and I'm a geek."

Man getting excited about 'The pawn channel'