Quirky Rebel Lover Gifts

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"I love you, you big fool."

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

The Bare Minimum

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

Storage Unit of Love

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'I even love the way you snore!'

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"I find myself strangely attracted to you."

'Going up?'

Intermediate Slouching.

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

'After twenty years in this business, the nuttiness starts to rub off a little.'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp'."

No Strollers Allowed

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

'What do you mean, you want a divorce?'

Cupid Shoots at Open Heart Surgery.

Updated Classics.

Near-sighted goose falls in love with saxophone.

Methuselah shoots his age.

"And what if I refuse?"