Quirky Rebel Lover Pillows

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"I love you, you big fool."

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

The Bare Minimum

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

Storage Unit of Love

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

'I even love the way you snore!'

"I find myself strangely attracted to you."

'Going up?'

Intermediate Slouching.

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

No Strollers Allowed

'After twenty years in this business, the nuttiness starts to rub off a little.'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

'What do you mean, you want a divorce?'

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

"So for you being buried alive was largely a negative experience?"

Cupid Shoots at Open Heart Surgery.

Updated Classics.

Near-sighted goose falls in love with saxophone.

"And what if I refuse?"

Spokane County Police Department