Quirky Bequest Appreciator Pillows

Last Will and Testement.

Lactose Intolerant

Cheeze Wiz.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Kissing the Fish

Balloon dog poos.

'Head down...eye on the ball...'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

Rent a Room With Hot Water

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

State of the Art Dog.

-"What has this got to do with communication?" -"It's my invention...the hand smiley."

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

Cat has swallowed computer mouse.

'No, don't tell me...split personality.'

"Well thank you, and may I say you look quite handsome too..."

Alien asking for Bernard manning's autograph

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

Chameleon and TV

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

"Maybe that metal device we found with the paleolithic stone tools WAS a ray gun!"

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

"Anatomy of a cat"

Odorant

Drunk Woman Sees Pink Elephants in her Garden.

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

Female showering under a watered hanging basket using Body Shop products.

Cat runs away for giant mice.