Quirky Act Aficionado Gifts

'Well, that's unusual...'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Is the garbage fresh?"

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

"The usual."

'Have you been feeding him cat food again?'

"Hire him. You can't teach shadows like that."

Cat art exhibition.

"I've built this business up from scratch. . . "

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

Early days in the cloning lab.

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"This next trick will require a volunteer from the audience..."

"I don't get you. You can soft shoe, play the ukulele and juggle, but you can't fetch a pair of slippers."

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

The Museum of Swine Art.

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical

Hose charmer.

"Well, your reflexes are fine."

"Today is the rabbit's day off."

'Get in! No time to explain!'

"Give it up for Stevie and his musical underarms! Next up, in the house...Crazy Katrina and her jump rope of death! It's something you'll see only on...the Security Camera Network!"

'Do you extract teeth?'

"Have we got a show for you!"

101 uses of a dead cat: microphones.

"Respect man!"

"I'll do the talking!"

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."