Comic Act Aficionado Gifts

'You have the right to remain silent...'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Dog Walking Services

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Skiing.

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Billy. The Kid.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Intelligent people laugh too!

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"