Comic Act Aficionado Gifts

'You have the right to remain silent...'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Skiing.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Dog Walking Services

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Billy. The Kid.

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Intelligent people laugh too!

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'